Hugh Gyton - Just A Conversation:

THE CONVERSATION GAME

Do you find some people easier to talk with than others?

Can some people just ‘get your back up’ without really trying?

Even when you put all your best conversational skills to use you will still find some people easier to talk to than others. It’s simply because of your respective conversational styles.

Just like our personalities, some conversational styles are compatible and some styles clash. Once you understand both your and their conversational styles, how the different styles like to communicate and what is important to you both, it really becomes quite easy to engage them in productive conversations that help you build up your relationship with them.

In order to have successful conversations with everyone we meet it is important to be able to adapt our style to suit the person we are talking to. The good news is, underneath our unique qualities and great diversification we all tend to fall into four main conversation styles.

So in order to be able to have a successful conversation with just about anyone all you have to do is recognise which of the four styles you are in conversation with, then adapt your style to suit theirs.

Lets play the conversation game

Instructions: Print-Friendly Version

Print Conversation Game MODE Cards.

Create the Conversation Game MODE Cards. More

Read and order the cards. More

NOTE

All conversation styles are equal. No one style is better or worse than another, just different.(In reality we have elements of all four styles within us, although it is typically just one or maybe two styles that tend to dominate how we prefer to handle our conversations).

It is OK if you have two styles that are very similar in ranking. Ask yourself, is one style more of a learnt style? If so this should be ranked lower.

Focus on your personal conversation style when relaxed, for example at home rather than in the workplace.

Stop for a moment and look at your first card(s) or if close together your first two cards. More

Turn your first card over and check out tips for enhancing your default conversational style.

Turn your fourth card over and check out tips for improving the conversational style you use the least.

By now you should know your style, its strengths and areas for possible development. More

Now you have completed the Conversation Game, click hereto download the Conversation Game Workbook to capture all your thoughts and intentions.

A fun variation on the above would be to get people who know you well, for example your partner, to order the cards in how they see you. You might also want to order the cards for them. Sometimes it is quite surprising how we view each other and it can lead to very rewarding conversations to understand why this might be so.

Remember, there is the self we’d like to be, the self others see us as and the self we really are. The more you understand the differences, the more successful your conversations will be.

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The secret to successful conversations with everyone you meet comes down to just three things:

Know your default conversation style, it’s strengths and challenges.

Identify the default conversation style of the person you are talking to.

Adapt your conversational style to suit theirs. You don’t have to change who you are; you just have to modify your conversation style to complement theirs.

Remember, success is...

Just a conversation™